i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
