You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
