My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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