She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
