apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
