I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Oh god it's open bar.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
