i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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