I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
