is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We need to get me chipped asap
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
