Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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