I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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