why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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