She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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