How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
