I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
