just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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