Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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