He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We are two peas in an std pod
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
