3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
