Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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