I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
