READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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