I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
