in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Someone signed my nipple.
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