So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
