I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
