so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
