I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
