your thong is hanging out like whoa
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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