physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize