I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize