I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
