So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
