If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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