it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm really into asian looking animals
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
