I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize