They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
