I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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