Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
wow bdsm is so cute
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
