I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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