whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
