I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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