why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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