their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
