i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
