toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
