Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
