Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
