last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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