im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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