Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
