What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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