The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize