I swear she didn't look like that last week.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
