after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
