He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
