oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
