The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
