On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
