It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
