Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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