You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You are a genius and a whore.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
