K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
