We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
4 words: hood of his car
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
