if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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