Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize