I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
