I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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