they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
