i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
