Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
