I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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