Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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