Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
tell me about the eggs
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
